The girl in my mind.

"她"

我问了一道简单的问题,
得到了一种直接的感受,
造成了许多矛盾的想法,
便引起了一连串的回忆,
她是我的过去还是未来?

Life of choices

选择

人生有许许多多的选择.

有人选择在外流浪, 放弃了在家和父母谈心的机会.
有人选择在外赚更多钱, 放弃了一家人共度晚餐的机会.
有人选择了爱情, 放弃了道义.
有人会选择放弃所有的财富, 也不会想放弃任何改过的机会.

Time

My Time

Time is what we measure in minutes, hours, days and years.

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long
for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who
love, time is eternity."

时间

有时我会像步惊云一样, 什么都不烦,
随着时间得流去, 想着过去,
想着她, 想着未来, 想着理想.

有时我会像火麒磷一样, 充满着怒火,
想把对我不公的人, 一分为二,
随着时间得流失, 我平息了自我,
忘掉那些人的愚昧无知的行为.

有时我会像小玉兔一样, 望着满天的星空,
希望烦恼能像流星般地消失,
看着月亮, 随着时间地等待她的到来.

有时我会像时间一样, 忙忙碌碌,
忘我劳动地跟着时间赛跑,
只希望朋友还知道我存在的意义.

Clown

小丑.
真的丑吗?

以前的我都对小丑的印象不是很好, 可能是因为小时看了有关小丑的恐怖片,
也没看过精彩的小丑表演, 总觉得小丑的笑容很恐怖.

我曾经对我姐和朋友说过"每个戏都有一个丑角, 可能现实生活也是."

有些丑角是可悲的,可笑的,可怜的, 但是也有可爱的.
有时丑角不管再如何努力都当不了主角,
因为他们缺乏主角的天生完美的外表,智慧,人气和运气.

当我看了"戆夫成龙"后感触良多, 觉得阿旺又是丑角又是主角,
可能丑角也有当主角的一天吧.

我认为小丑是值得被受到尊敬的, 因为是他们带给我们欢笑的.
我在想你我有一天可能会是小丑的身份, 但是那又怎么样?
只要能活得精彩, 活得自信, 又能给其他人快乐. 那又有什么不好啊.

戆夫成龙
http://ch8c.mediacorptv.com/shows/drama/view/1419/1/.html

小丑的眼泪
http://www.yzu.edu.cn/bmweb/xcb/p/ssyl/Myweb/bookstorage/novel/xqd.htm

Charlie Chaplin
http://www.charliechaplin.com/rubrique.php3?id_rubrique=22

如果我当不了在你生命中的主角, 只要你不嫌弃,
我愿意当一个能在你生命中带给你欢笑的小丑.

俊杰

Achievement

LWJ asked "What achievement you want?"
I was thinking "What kind of achievement I really want?"
QQ joked "Fame? Simple, strip and run around, tomorrow sure as famous as william hung."
I replied "那是虚名!我要的是名流千古而不是臭名远扬."
WWX kept in silent.

I got confused and found two meanings for achievement in Collins Dictionary.

1. Achievement is something which someone has succeeded in doing, especially after a lot of effort.
2. Achievement is the process of achieving something.

If I based on the first meaning and make out what achievement I made so far, there will be quite a lot, so I listed and classify some I think is important to me.

• Primary Sch- 棋王(I had five disciples), Silver Cup for Math Competition on Stage, One of the Most Famous student in CTPS, Math Dist For PSLE.
• Secondary Sch- 棋王(Win the TSS Chess Competition), Stage Perform On New Year Celebration, Got into Best Class, Found My First Love, Adviser of S.L.A.C.K.
• Poly- Class Rep for 1 year, 孙子兵法 Dist, IT sec of SP Astro, Got into Game Development.

Above Achievement, I put into efforts in studying, training and making friends.

小学让我傻傻地认为我是天才, 中学让我受尽苦头让我绝望, 今天我觉悟了.

If I based on the second meaning. Maybe I will relate it with my life goals.

1. 报答父母
2. 我和周围的朋友都开心
3. 提高社会水平

These goals actually is never be able to fulfil, there is no limit to all the goals. But I just want to reach or fulfil my life goals as much as I can before my death.

笑着过一生, 天塌当被盖.

Mistake - Something which you did not intend to do.

小一的我, 用的是有象皮樵的铅笔,
写错后,容易擦,容易受到老师的原谅.
小六的我, 用的是蓝色的原子笔,
写错后, 会用白色般的物体来掩盖错误, 老师会觉得乱但还会原谅.
中二的我,用的是黑色的原子笔,
写错后,想要用白色物体来掩盖错误,但老师不让,我也嫌麻烦.
今天的我, 用的是键盘,
打错后, 电脑可能会提醒我或直接帮我改, 或按"<--", 老师只会找我的错误.

小一的我, 让我想起周围的人很容易原谅我因为我还小,
做错了事后, 便会用心地把每个错误擦掉，轻松地再重写过. 不怕失败.
小六的我, 让我想起周围的人开始对我的期望变高了, 我做事需要更有自信,
但当我做错了事, 便会怕别人对我的期望会变低, 便用了像白色般的谎言来掩盖我的错误, 希望别人不知道. 可是周围的人想知道我倒地做错了什么事, 但我刻意隐瞒, 他们也不能帮我, 只好放弃追问.
中二的我, 让我想起周围的人已经对我有信心, 我做事必需要更用心更明确, 不能再用谎言来掩盖我的错误, 我需要勇敢面对现实, 从我的错误中吸取教训.
今天的我, 需要周围的人能像电脑般提醒我,帮助我克服困难或缺点, 而不是只会看我的缺点,不看我的优点的人. 我不想孤军做战.

Sometime, I see "Mistake" as a kind of "Creative". If I don't make any mistake, how do I know the new way to be right(Original Idea) ? Creative is something you don't intend to have yet it appears.


Inspired By Chua Hui Ting (Primary school friend, Long time no contact.) Her Msn Nick: "Everyone makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils"

Poseur

模范

每个人都有自己的影响力.
每个人都有自己的独特性格和成功之道.

我说: 可是我认为像我这样想没什么不好的啊.
他说: 可是我不想学你.
我说: 学我有什么不好的啊?
他说: 我不要'poser'你
我说: 为什么?
他说: 为什么我需要'poser'你?
我想: 他说的对.

有时我会告诉别人, 如何有效地做一些事情.
希望他们能像我一样成功地做完他的事情.
但是这样我也可能夺走他们的宝贵机会.
失败而取得经验的机会, 另一种成功的机会.

小时候,我妈常说"为什么你不能像你姐姐一样?"
我就会给她看我那种"为何我要像姐姐"的脸.
也就是这样我更肯定我要走的路, 逍遥自在的路.
在我心里深处, 我是羡慕我姐的成功.
但是我知道我不需要像我姐一样的成功.
因为我已经选择了我要走的成功之道.
就算失败, 那又怎样? 至少那是我选择的路.

我们不用模范别人走过的成功之路.
我们不用模范别人的天赋.

想要做就做, 不用想太多.

Inspired by LWJ

Fairytale Ending

童话般的结局.

在我童年时, 我读了听了许许多多感人的童话故事.
那时的我, 认为只要诚心对待对方就能得到幸福.

今日的我,了解到现实生活中有
比巫婆还要无聊的人,
比怪物还要孤独的人,
比公主还要动人的人.
但偏偏我就不是比王子还要幸运的人.

淡了恋爱, 了解爱是需要双方面来维持地.
爱也不只是两个人的事, 因为世界的人多过你我两人.

我只希望能得到有如童话般纯真的爱情.
有如童话般简单的结局: 从此以后,过着幸福快乐的日子.
希望我不是在做梦. 妳听到了吗?

Man and Beast

人与兽

人是天地万物之明.
但人的文明进度已不如以往.

人不再利用自己最大的本事: 学习能力
来帮助周围事物但只顾追随物质上的财富.

我想了很长的时间...人与兽最大的分别在那?
答案是: 人有七情六欲, 性爱之分, 正邪之分.

兽不会有刻骨铭心的爱情, 但人会.
兽的眼里没有正邪和道义, 但人有.
这就是人的美, 兽的凡.

但兽的一些特质性格, 是人该学习.
鼠的机灵, 牛的吃苦, 虎的威严, 兔的可爱, 龙的傲气, 鸡的守时
羊的温柔, 马的活力, 狗的忠心, 猪的自知, 猴的好学, 蛇的随意

Expose True Self

人最难了解的人可能就是自己.
当人想要朋友对自己有所评价时,
他们所得到的答案,很有可能,
跟自己的理想答案,有所不同.

人常会表露出"不真实的自己",
来掩盖自己的弱点或暇疵.
有如一个爱开玩笑的人,
突然之间沉默不语地坐在一旁.
那是真实的他还是瞬间的他?

人可能长期掩盖自我,
因此迷失真诚的自我.

若想要别人了解自己,
就要先放开,了解自我.

Inspired By LWJ

The Responsibility

九个月前,我是天文学的新成员.
九个月后,我是天文学的科技负责人.
这样的变化,使我有了新的责任.
我有点力不从心...我每日都要跟电脑打交道.
我有点厌倦...但我知道还是要坚持.
我想要懂新事物, 但新事物又跟电脑扯上了关系.
我的责任一一地跟电脑科技有了关系.
难道我要为了责任而过着平平淡淡看着电脑的日子吗?

人在江湖身不由己,一个过错害人害己.

The Gate

在我未使用钥匙试着打开大门时, 我在街上走了一下, 看着天,下着有如冰针的雨...
似乎暗示我大门后的不详...雨滴落在我的身...寒在我的心. 我的脚步变慢了...是水吗?
我试着走不同的道路...希望能改变我的命运. 雨水这时落在我的眼... 让我看清了周围人的面目.

当我使用钥匙打开大门时, 我看见一条不平,难走的路. 路不只难走,还要走的顶天立地.
在路上我看见了~~人性~~可悲~~金钱~~关怀~~明智~~冷静~~败类~~信念.

Shall I try open another gate? We shall see...

The Result

成绩
明天是我拿英文成绩的大日子. 我花了许多的精神和金钱,就是为了明天能拿到好成绩.
过程虽然辛苦,但也有许多快乐...
时间象风一样,永远不会为任何人停留,当你想用手抓住它时,它就从你手的细逢中流过.

I spent time and money ($1000++) to help myself to improve my English...but I still fail to discover the beauty of the language...I just love Chinese much more than English...I cherish the day going to tution centre every sunday...hope she does too.

No matter what result I get tomorrow... I know it definitely will change my path of life once again.

Lunar New Year Eve

守岁
华人过年前夕的礼仪. 目的是要父母能长命百岁.

I have not practise this ceremony for years... For the past few nights before eve, Shou Sui came to my mind and I start to think of its purpose. I was thinking it is true that we just keep ourself awake for the night and our parent life will be prolong? It might be the process of keeping ourself awake and accompany our parent for the night causes our parent more happy, hence, their life is prolong... after all that is my assumption. Hence, I decided to check whether my assumption is correct, by keeping myself awake for the coming eve.

I online, chatting with friends to keep myself awake, but this method fail me, because msn is down and my network connection has error too. Then I went to do some reading...finally my father went to sleep, then my mother still busy with the house work, then I did some chatting with her...then went back my room and play my laptop... then i fall asleep.

Sadly this year, I can't prove my assumption again...because of my lazyiness. What can I do? Wait for new year loh. Hope this post, can remind me.

Tai Ji , Wu Xing , Ba Gua

太极 , 五行 , 八卦

太极 : 它具有两重含义。一是 "太极" 的字词含义，如 "顶点"、"穷尽"；二是"太极"的范畴含义，有 "本质"、"根源"、"全息"的意思。

太极最初是一片原始的混沌之气，通过动而生阳，静而生阴，化生为两仪，形成了阴阳环抱、首尾相接的阴阳太极图。阴阳继续分化则为两仪生四象，再由四象生八卦，阴阳运动衍生万物，无穷无尽，循环往复，井然有序，生生不息，新新不已。太极图先天八卦的方位排列是：乾一、兑二、离三、震四、巽五、坎六、艮七、坤八。太极图始于乾阳，终于坤阴，反映了太极系统阳盛则息，阴盛则消的全息变化规律。

五行 : 金木水火土.
水生木 , 木生火 , 火生土 , 土生金 , 金生水.
水克火 , 火克金 , 金克木 , 木克土 , 土克水.

心 , 火也. 肾 , 水也. 脾 , 土也. 肺 , 金也.
肝 , 木也? 可能不是...因人非草木.

八卦 : 八卦代表八种基本物象: 乾为天, 坤为地, 震为雷, 巽为风, 艮为山, 兑为泽, 坎为水, 离为火, 总称为经卦, 由八个经卦中的两个为一组的排列组合, 则构成六十四卦.

古人认为：无极生太极，太极生两仪，两仪生四象，四象生八卦，八卦生六十四卦，这是太极化生八卦的基本理论。

Above is the basic knowledge of Tai Ji , Wu Xing , Ba Gua. I did some edit to it, make it more simplified. If you can fully understand it, you will realise ancient China already have the idea of science, element, mathematic, astronomy, computer science. It is about logic and formation. Hope you will not yawn after reading...hehe...after all it is pretty long-winded...but I already cut short it...before that was like...10+ full pages of chinese words...

Coming Soon...

I thought many ideas within this week. But not yet put them down in words. So I thought of writing the main topic down to recall my own poor memory :)

01. Money ( Root of All Evil ? )
02. Surname, Name and Nick
03. Bravery , Courage -- Done
04. Different between Man and Beast -- Done
05. Tai Ji , Wu Xing , Ba Gua -- Done
06. Fairytale Ending -- Done
07. My Life
08. Shou Sui ( The Day Before Chinese New Year ) -- Done
09. Win , Lose , Draw
10. LJJ's New Clothes!

Thanks a lot for the comments given by Joleen (Unique Girl) and RongXi (Still not used to call your new name..hehe) and Tom ( Don't know this person but what he write does make a sense, hope to see Jerry too..lol ). Your Comments make me feel this blog more meaningful.

To all my Friends: You all may write down your wishlist on this Post's Comment...I try to help you all to make yr wish comes true
( Note: My family don't print money or sells military weapons so do I...hehe...so expensive stuff..hehe not my business worx)

To LWJ: Yo, you are my latest reader leh...how dare you don't put comment...still in the process of acting dao ar.

Bravery and Courage

勇者无惧, 胆识过人.

我常听人说"有勇无谋"这句话. 我想了又想...我如何做到有勇有谋?
我常三思而行,但当我发现到我无法预测到什么事情会发生时,我会勇敢地去面对尽我所能.
但一旦我失败,别人便会说我"有勇无谋"就算我有仔细想过.

人生中有多少事是我们能预料得到? 要是我们只敢做自己能预料的事物,那人生不是很无趣吗?

勇者是:
不顾自我只顾别人,
不怕失败只怕后悔,
不怕人笑只怕人哭.

勇气和胆量的来源不是体力而是思维.
勇敢体验人生因为我们只活那么一次.

Tears of Heart

淚从心中流 .

男人流血不流淚 , 并非废话而是真理 . 只因流淚跟流血已经没有分别...淚是因心中万箭刺之伤痛而流 . 我永远忘不了那种悲痛 . 万箭从回忆里而发 .

回忆就象一个黑暗的房间 , 想要避开可是又想要从中寻找回一些东西 . 当寻找到快乐时也看见了悲伤 , 就是因为这种无法承受的悲伤 , 造成淚从心中而流 .

年育时为不分青红皂白的世界而流淚.
少年时为爱人的回忆而流淚.
成年时盼望自己能因快乐而流淚.

Entering a Darkness Room of Memory, I saw my happiness yet my sorrow was just beside it...I try my best to focus at my happiness only but her image in the sorrow caught my attention. I pick it up, take a look and I just return to where I am most helpless and depress . The pain of sorrow cause me to awake and back to the reality. I found tears in my eyes with no one beside me.

My Eyes Cure - Rice

米的神秘功能.
米一般说来只不过是我的食物. 可是我的妈妈竟然用它来治好我的眼睛!

Don't Know What Happen To Right Side Eye This Few Days.
I just can't stop myself blinking or scatching my eye...I was wondering what causes my eye so itchy.

1. My eyelid too long?
2. See too much pretty girls?
3. My Spectacles?

Then I think since I already have an itchy eye and the above causes don't seem to help me to find the cure. I decide to ask advise from my friend who is a nurse but the method she gives still can't help me solve my problem...Hence, I went to see my family doctor...who is my mother. She say that my eye got unlucky or something in dialect. I was like "Huh?!" and keep asking what is that and got cure or not. Then she went to get a rice, I was like "Huh?! Huh!?" what she want to do? Then she ask me to open my eye and she use the rice to poke the area below my eyeball...My mind was thinking "That goes my eye...if i blind who will take care of me? Will I look like Nie Feng" and hearing my sister saying that last time people using needle! After the "operation", She say "Let the bad luck goes away then throw the rice away" I was like "Sure or not, Will that works?" But I felt comfortable after that poke...then I went to sleep afraid my eye will itchy again. Miracle Happens...My Eye no longer feels itchy! Then I was thinking what cure my eye.

1. The Long Rest Sleep?
2. The Rice?
3. My Mind?

After all, the rice has directly or indirectly cure my eye...and once again i can use my eyes see the beauty of things around me...Feel so lucky to feel comfortable again.

Unfair Treatment

不公平的待遇 .
每个人都承受过不公平的待遇 , 如果是这样不公平的待遇就不存在了 . 唯一的分别就在于多和少 . 可是承受过较多不公平的待遇的人也就因此比一般人坚强.

Today I read pretty interesting article which write : "You can be upset because rose bushes have thorns or you can rejoice because thorn bushes have roses". This show that unfair treatment will not exist if you see your life as a whole.

When you can read this, you already more fortunate than many thousand of people.